


A Night Or A Lifetime

by LoneAngel



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Comfort/Angst, M/M, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 10:09:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14017953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoneAngel/pseuds/LoneAngel
Summary: Jack and Ennis have to make a hard decision, but not before they share a night together.





	A Night Or A Lifetime

Jack Twist. The young cowboy who had been a such thorn in his ass for weeks. Throwing temper tantrums like a petulant child, Ennis could swear he’d had about enough. How did such a needy baby become a cowboy roughing it in the mountains for work? Shouldn’t he be in an air conditioned office with a secretary to fetch his coffee every morning?  
Ennis groaned and splashed icy water from the river onto his face. Winter was fading away, but reluctantly. Soon it would be warm enough that Jack would have no reason to complain about sleeping out with the cows every night. 

Jack’s temper tantrum that night proved Ennis wrong and he finally suggested they just switch duties. That suited the little prince just fine, so Ennis saddled up and went off to sleep with the cows. At least Jack would be happier. It was easiest to tell himself that he just wanted Jack to stop complaining, and that’s why he did it. Deep down he didn’t mind the constant talking and complaining though. It was better than the awkward silence that reigned when someone waited for him to talk. 

They both knew a storm was coming; from experience, from the way the cows huddled together under the trees, from the sinister thunder echoing through the mountains. Whoopie.  
Jack made supper as always and it was mediocre as always, but Ennis was glad to eat something warm after he came in to camp so late.

“Where the heck were you? I’ve had to keep the beans on the fire for hours now. It’s almost dark. I thought maybe you weren’t comin’ down a’tall.” Jack babbled on while Ennis dismounted his horse and tied the old beast up.  
“A’course I was comin’ down. Where else would I get supper from?” He said in his soft-spoken way, strolling up to the fire and ladling out a bowl of beans. He sank slowly onto one of the logs nearest the fire and let out a low groan. Jack frowned slightly before following him to the fire and scooping out a bowl for himself. Ennis’ brow furrowed.  
“Haven’t you already eaten?” He asked, choking down his food. Jack shook his head slowly, watching Ennis as if he was mesmerized.  
“Uh, naw. I—I waited for you.”  
“Why would you do a thing like that?”  
Jack just shrugged and set into his own bowl. Ennis refilled his and finished that serving just as fast. Jack chuckled warmly.  
“You’re awfully hungry.” It seemed he just wanted to state the obvious, so Ennis just nodded and refilled his bowl again. Jack cleared his throat awkwardly and set his bowl aside before leaning forward, elbows on knees.  
“It seems like a storm tonight.” Ennis grunted in affirmation. “You wanna stay here tonight? In the camp?” Ennis looked up at him slowly, having just finished his third bowl, he set it aside and gave Jack his full attention.  
“Aguirre said one of us was to sleep with the cows.” A simple statement, so Jack just nodded.  
“But it seems like a bad storm. Aguirre couldn’t’a meant for you to sleep out there with no shelter over your head, a night like this. ‘Sides, he’ll never know if you spend one night in camp. I’m sure the cows’ll be fine anyways.” Ennis just looked at him, brows furrowed slightly.  
“So...I’d sleep in the tent...with you?” Ennis asked, looking down at his hands as he leaned back. Jack nodded slowly, then cleared his throat again.  
“I mean, sure. Why not? It’ll keep the warmth in better, two bodies instead’a one. An it’s already dark, so gettin’ back out there’ll kill you like as not.” He didn’t want to sound as desperate for the company as he felt. From the way Ennis looked at him, though, it seemed he did sound that desperate. “But don’t, if you don’t want. I don’t care whether you sleep in cold or shelter.” He said, a bit snarkily. Ennis chuckled softly and tilted his hat back on his head to look Jack in the eye.  
“I’ll sleep down here, it means that much to you.” He pulled his hat off and ran a hand through his wavy hair, only making it more of a mess. Jack grinned, unable to hide how happy it made him. Somehow that made the light fade from Ennis’ eyes slightly, but Jack told himself he didn’t notice.  
“I’ll go make up a spot for you.” He said, standing up and going to the tent, disappearing inside. Ennis replaced his hat on his head, bent forward and rubbed his face. He stood up after a moment and grabbed his and Jack’s bowls, carrying them to the nearby river to wash out. It could just as easily be done in the morning when it was lighter out, but he did it nonetheless. It seemed he needed something to do with his hands. Or maybe something to delay his now-inevitable time in the tent with Jack. He didn’t care to figure out which.  
The next thing he knew, Jack was calling him from by the fire. He didn’t respond, simply swaggered up the small hill with the clean bowls.  
“There y’are. I thought maybe you’d gone off to the cows anyway.” Ennis couldn’t miss how nervous Jack suddenly seemed, and he wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He held up the clean bowls to explain where he was, then offered a light shrug. He put the bowls away in the supply bag, then turned back to the fire and Jack, rubbing his hands on his thighs.  
“Well, I’m off to bed,” Jack said quietly. “You coming?”  
“In a minute.” Ennis rubbed his neck, mostly as an excuse not to look at Jack, who nodded and headed for the tent. Ennis stood staring at the fire for a moment, trying to rationalize the twisting feeling in his gut. The fluttery feeling in his chest. Trying to focus his thoughts that seemed suddenly to be dashing about, everywhere and nowhere all at once. He heard a soft rustling coming from the tent and he sighed out a calming breath. Somehow he felt calm enough to approach the tent, bend over, push aside the tent flap, walk in. Jack groaned something and Ennis stepped over him to lay down in the free spot. It took a long while to fall asleep. Jack’s gentle breathing and warm presence behind him seemed absurdly distracting. 

He woke up. He couldn’t at first think why, but suddenly he recognized the weight of an arm across his waist and he jumped, thrashing around, darting towards the tent flap, to the cool air outside. To escape.  
Jack jumped up too, grabbed his arm, his shoulder. Ennis fought him off, heart pounding, blood rushing in his ears. Panting. Jack fisted one hand in his shirt and the other tight on his arm, calming him down, forcing him to stop fighting. Their quick breaths were all that filled the space. Until suddenly they were kissing. Desperately. As if the world might end, hands fisted in each others’ shirts. Ennis pressed forward, holding Jack’s face. Jack’s hands were suddenly busy elsewhere and Ennis, caught up in the moment, pushed him around to face the other way, helping him undo his belt buckle, undoing his zipper. Then he pulled down his own pants and leaned over Jack, grabbed his shoulder roughly to stabilize himself. Jack went down on all fours, head bent, gasping.  
It took a moment afterwards for Ennis to collect himself enough to pull away. He fell on his back, chest heaving, eyes tightly shut. He struggled to slow down his breathing enough to swallow the lump in his throat or ignore the heat in his cheeks. Jack was still on all fours, but slowly he moved to pull his pants back over his hips. He turned to Ennis, who was now staring at the roof of the tent blankly, gasps for air now just quickened breaths. Jack moved over him, one hand on the ground on Ennis’ other side. He bent down slowly, not wanting to startle him, nuzzled against his neck gently and whispered soft non-words in his ear. Ennis shut his eyes again and pulled away, almost choking on the lump in his throat now. “Stop.” He begged quietly, voice breaking. Jack froze, pulled away slightly before lowering himself to the ground, now facing Ennis’ back. He slid closer, every movement slow and stilted, one hand gently tracing the veins on Ennis’ forearm.  
A small sob escaped Ennis’ lips and he curled his knees to his chest protectively. He shook his head wordlessly, tears coming unbidden. Jack froze again, concern wrinkling his forehead. He carefully moved over Ennis to lay in front of him. He reached out hesitantly and wiped a tear from Ennis’ cheek.  
“Should I apologize?” He asked, voice soft. Another gentle sob escaped, but Jack was able to make out a slight shake of his head. Ennis moved almost imperceptibly closer to Jack, arms hugging himself defensively, but he was still reaching out for contact. To feel someone there.  
Jack sat up against the tent wall and pulled Ennis carefully into his lap. Ennis rolled to his other side so he could wrap his arms around Jack’s waist, pull him closer. Jack stroked his hair gently, pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Ennis’ head and closed his eyes, breathing in the moment, the scent of Ennis.  
After a few moments, Ennis’ breathing had slowed, he made a soft noise and was asleep. Jack shifted carefully so they were both lying down, Ennis resting against his chest. He curled a protective arm around the other man and fell slowly to sleep.

Ennis woke to an empty tent and horrific dread filled his chest like a vise. He sat up slowly trying to gather the courage to walk outside and face Jack. A hot blush passed down his neck when he realized his pants were still loose. He pulled them up and cinched his belt a little tighter than usual, before stepping out of the tent.  
Jack was already seated by the fire, poking at something in the pot. Their eyes met and Ennis felt a sudden urge to hurl into the bushes, but he walked over to the fire and sat near enough Jack without sitting next to him. Jack seemed a bit more stiff and uncomfortable this morning than usual, but Ennis wasn’t quite ready to say anything.  
They ate breakfast in relative silence, which only worsened the anxiety coursing through Ennis. By the time he set his plate aside he was practically humming with tension.  
“How do we go on from here?” Jack asked softly, looking into his eyes with a painful sort of hope strumming a beat in his chest. Ennis looked up and met Jack’s gaze, his own eyes blank and unsure. He opened his mouth slightly, trying to find something to say to answer the question hanging in the air.  
“We can’t.” His eyes fell, his hope falling at his own words. “How can we do anything but forget it happened.” Please forget it happened. He looked back up at Jack, the silent plea written in his eyes. Jack watched him for a moment, for once the silent one.  
“I won’t forget.” He moved closer, held a hand to Ennis’ cheek and tried not to feel hurt when Ennis pulled away. “This happened, Ennis. I wouldn’t change that for anything. Whatever you feel, whoever hurt you before, you can’t ask me to walk away. I won’t.” Ennis shut his eyes tightly, as if he could disappear and have a moment more to find an answer that said how he felt.  
“You know what they’ll say of us. What they’ll do.” He sighed with the weight of the world’s problems on his shoulders and turned back to face Jack. “I can’t—“ Jack erased the words with a soft but desperate kiss, and Ennis couldn’t pull away. Jack moved to straddle his hips and cupped both hands on Ennis’ jaw, deepening the kiss with a throaty moan. Ennis made a soft noise and pulled away gently, gasping for air.  
“I don’t care about anyone else but you.” Jack said, breathing heavily, he pressed his forehead against Ennis’. Ennis growled softly and kissed him again, deeper, more possessive. Hands on Jack’s waist, Ennis pulled them flush against each other, thoughts evaporating into nothing, the world fading away.  
“Please don’t leave me.” Jack’s eyes flew open and he searched Ennis’ eyes. Ennis stared back at him with a wide, vulnerable look, suddenly anxious again. Whatever Jack was looking for, he found, and answered with a nod. He kissed Ennis once, more chastely this time.  
“It’ll be you and me. Like this. Always, I promise.”


End file.
